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Stupid Ancient History (Stupid History)

By Leland Gregory

Best-selling stand-up comedian Leland Gregory bargains a blockbuster number of greater than two hundred extraordinary, bizarre, foolish, surprising, and downright outrageous real tales approximately old Greek and Roman history.

New York Times best-selling writer Leland Gregory is considered one of Andrews McMeel Publishing’s such a lot winning noncartoon humorists. foolish, stunning, bizarre, hilariously funny—and outrageously true—the brief anecdotes within his anthologies of human stupidity are culled from print, on-line, and broadcast media from all around the world. Inside Stupid historic History, Gregory chronicles Greek philosophers, Roman conquerors, and historical mythconceptions, including:

 
— To struggle off Roman ships in three hundred BC, Carthaginians catapulted dwell snakes at them.
— The Athenian lawmaker Draco died of suffocation whilst presents of cloaks have been showered upon him through thankful voters at an Aegina theater in 620 BC. 
— In historic Rome, lengthy earlier than the appearance of the Christian Bible, Roman males swore to “tell the reality, the entire fact, and not anything however the fact” through putting their correct hand on their testicles. It is from this ritual that we derived the time period “testimony.”
—  Of the Seven Wonders of the traditional global, The Temple of Artemis in Ephesus burned to the floor in 356 BC. The arsonist was once accomplished; and to ensure his want for eternal reputation wouldn’t come actual, it used to be ordered that his identify be troubled from all files and not pointed out again. But humans will talk. Despite all efforts, his identify leaked, and Herostratus is remembered as essentially the most infamous firebugs in history. 

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Listed here are a number of extra you have to be conscious of and stay away from: Psychics, wizards, and so forth are to be stoned to demise. (Leviticus 20:27. ) If a priest’s daughter is a whore, she is to be burnt on the stake. (Leviticus 21:9. ) “He that smiteth his father, or his mom, will likely be definitely positioned to loss of life. ” (Exodus 21:15 KJV. ) “He that sacrificeth unto any god, store unto the LORD in simple terms, he will probably be completely destroyed. ” (Exodus 22:20 KJV. ) “Thou shalt now not undergo a witch to stay. ” (Exodus 22:18 KJV. ) “But if the ox . . . hath killed a guy or a girl; the ox will be stoned, and his proprietor additionally might be placed to dying. ” (Exodus 21:29 KJV. ) “If a guy have a obdurate and rebellious son, for you to no longer obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother . . . all of the males of his urban shall stone him with stones, that he die. ” (Deuteronomy 21:18–21 KJV. ) There are not any injuries How did Rome develop into the cultural middle of the universe in precedent days? It occurred whilst Crates of Mallus (who can also be recognized for developing the earliest recognized globe of the Earth) got here to Rome as an envoy from the king (either Eumenes II, in 168 B. C. , or Attalus II in 159 B. C. ) of Pergamum (in glossy western Turkey). in accordance with Suetonius, in his e-book De grammaticis, ahead of Crates there has been no learn of grammar or feedback one of the Romans. So did this nice considering guy be aware of that it was once his future to return to Rome and produce enlightenment? No, really Crates by accident fell into the Cloaca Maxima (main drain) close to the Palatine Hill and broke his leg. He needed to remain in Rome for numerous months whereas his leg healed. He wanted funds so he opened a college. THE LATIN notice FOR an army CAMP, CASTRA, was once DERIVED IN universal LANGUAGE FROM THE ADJECTIVE CASTUS, that means “CHASTE,” OR FROM THE VERB CASTRARE, which means “CASTRATE,” because the squaddies needed to stay “CHASTE” whereas ON responsibility, AND BEING IN CAMPS intended THEIR SEXUAL hope was once CASTRATED. THE ROMAN EMPEROR LUCIUS SEPTIMIUS SEVERUS (RULED A. D. 193–211) was once the 1st to allow squaddies SERVING within the army TO MARRY. actual soldiers we know that the Romans prided themselves on being geared up. They have been so geared up, in reality, that they even deliberate what time of the 12 months they might visit struggle. you notice, the Romans have been a great deal an agricultural humans, in order that they couldn’t have the funds for to struggle wars in the course of planting season or at harvest, and wintry weather used to be too chilly and snowy to maneuver troops, so the Roman army engaged in assaults purely through the summer time. Roman historian Titus Livius (59 B. C. –A. D. 17), referred to as Livy, wrote in regards to the debate touching on carrying on with the siege of the Etruscan urban of Veli (around 396 B. C. ) throughout the iciness months: If a struggle isn't accomplished in the summertime, our squaddies needs to discover ways to wait during the wintry weather and never, like summer season birds, go searching for take care of once autumn comes. The excitement of searching consists of males off via snow and frost to the mountains and the woods: may still we now not follow to the calls for of struggle a similar persistence as is elicited through recreation and enjoyment?

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